A Story of War (Part 2):

After getting a full view of the battlefield from the fighter jet, I felt over-qualified to be joining the infantry on the Taiwanese main assault. The skirmishers had gone in already, I’d flown above the battle and missed most of my Japanese targets, and now we were going in for the first frontal ground attack.

The commanders gathered us into attack squads of about 10 each. Training with the commanders since last weekend, I’d come to realize that they were incompetent. They were hesitant to give any orders, had little control over the Taiwanese infantry, and preferred to wait for the generals to step in instead of just doing something first and questioning it later. Last saturday, I’d almost complained to the generals about the commanders’ incompetence.

We were thirty minutes late to intercept the incoming Japanese troops. We were quickly briefed, again, on this new weapon called “water dumplings”.

“How do you use this weapon on the Japanese? With English?” The commander of my squad said, half testing us, half hoping that we would tell her what to do.

“You wrap the filler with the wrapper, then nuh-nuh-nuh,” one soldier said, gesturing with her hands, intentionally failing in the last part of her sentence, just like the commander, because she had split intentions. Half was her being scared of being correct, and half was her not knowing the words in English. I wanted to jump in.

“Yeah,” the commander said, suddenly seeming like a soldier herself, lowering herself to our status by not taking control.

The enemy was upon us and we frantically deployed the “water dumplings”. They were coated in an incendiary called “Taiwanese culture” which made the new weapon even more devastating.

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The weapon seemed to be effective, as you can see in this action shot. Look at their cheeks! Water dumplings!

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With my 99% English ability and one squad member’s 70% Japanese ability, we successfully stopped the enemy from advancing using the water dumplings dripping with Taiwanese culture.

After the smoke cleared, my squad was still good for the most part, but a few members had some burns. The Japanese enemy was hit more than we were, which was good, and they had fled toward the hills in the distance. The commander stumbled next to me and pleaded that we continue with the attack. We trudged forward, the generals rumbling past us in their jeeps, and the commanders lagging behind us with the weight of their fears and insecurities.

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A Story of War (Part 1): Japanese Students Finally Meet Taiwanese Students

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It felt very much like an army camp before a battle. Teachers running around everywhere, students getting into groups, lining up, repositioning, lining up again, waiting for the army of Japanese students to arrive.

The numbers of the “enemy” were far greater than our own, but I have to say, we were much better equipped. Most of the members of our Taiwanese battalion had 50% English ability, although it depended on the moment; if you are too afraid to use this mighty weapon, it is exactly the same as not even having your English ability in the first place. The Japanese army had most of their infantry at a surprisingly low 15-20% English ability (because they were the enemy, I’m exactly sure about the number). They won the numbers game however; we were outnumbered perhaps 5:1.

While the Japanese students came onto the battlefield, I was a pilot standing in the middle of a line of infantrymen, all of us clapping our hands, applauding them for their courage to face us on the battlefield. I was disguised well. But one Japanese student saw it on my face, and gave me a high-five as he walked by.

I sat still during the first stage of the battle in one of the 300 seats in the auditorium, where the leaders of both armies attacked and counterattacked through microphones and translators. The principals of both schools tried matching artillery strikes, but somehow failed to make a real connection. Then they sent in the air force, and I was up.

I had prepped my shooting skills with another teacher a few days before, and even went to the flight simulator every night for the past week, so I was confident that I would be well prepared. However, the weapon I was using felt wrong. English? I was going to give it my best shot either way. I am a pilot, after all.

Everything went silent and became clear, as what usually happens when I’m in the cockpit, poised above the opposing force.  I unleashed my full 99% English ability on both the Japanese and Taiwanese troops. My bullets and rockets missed for the most part, which was sort of expected. I was then surprised to see another pilot flying next to me, holding a more practical weapon, a 70% Japanese ability. Most importantly, she had the will to use it, so she hit almost every single member of the Japanese army.

We landed on the airstrip, hustled back to the 300 seats in the auditorium, and immediately slung on our packs and grabbed our rifles. We were now infantrymen.